by Sahara Kelly

September 2004
ISBN: 1-59596-045-7
Reviewer Graphic Button Changeling Press

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Unsuspecting Dragomir, immortal vampire and renowned lover, was doing what he did best, wenching, when he's pulled from the past in a spurt of flatulence and fog. He lands ungracefully in front a beautiful woman whose clothing proclaims her to be a Princess and a Bitch. Drago finds this hard to believe, (the princess part, the bitch adjective is still up in the air) as no princess in his reckoning has ever spoken like a common tavern wench. She has his full attention when she grabs him by his....attention getter and demands to be pleasured. Her 'morning after' etiquette needs some improvement also. One should never knock out the tooth of someone who has sent one to a screaming, panting, near black out orgasm.

Toni and Martha-to-be-called-Mercedes were sampling a new mead recipe. Well, actually they had guzzled at least half of it. When Mercedes' alcohol fogged brain does not allow her to correctly recite the chant that she finds amongst her mead recipes, Toni takes over. While Mercedes is passed out in a liquid induced slumber, Toni's chant brings to her befuddled presence a man. A gorgeous man. A NAKED, gorgeous man. Sure, she believes that she's hallucinating, but...shouldn't her hallucinations listen to her when she tells them to stay still? Toni can't believe that her hallucination didn't disappear with the oncoming hangover-to-kill-you morning after. He must not be a hallucination after all since Mercedes can see him too. More importantly, Toni remembers that he BIT her towards the end of their sweaty, monkey sex. Well, a girl has to defend her own honor these days. It wasn't the sex she was mad about; it was the biting. Yeesh, some guys. So she was forced to give him a resounding blow across his head. She didn't mean to knock his tooth out, but those are the chances you take when you bite strangers.

Then a very unusual problem arises, with an equally unusual conclusion. I'm not telling. You have to read for yourself.

Sahara Kelly entertains us with a bawdy tale of a bewildered immortal who is summoned to the present by a very drunken, modern woman. Be prepared: Sucks To Be You had me laughing so hard I almost wet myself. With snappy one-liners, Toni is no one's idea of a proper lady, and I loved it. Most books work so hard to make the heroine above reproach. Toni curses, belches and drinks herself into oblivion. She's a very refreshing change from the more common simpering young misses. Draco is very much so the preferred Alpha male, albeit a slightly confused one. Ms. Kelly has won an eternal fan in me with Sucks To Be You.

Reviewed in December 2004 by Jodi.

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