REAL VAMPIRES HAVE CURVES
by Gerry Bartlett

March 2007
ISBN: 0-425-21377-3
Reviewer Graphic Button Berkley
Trade Paperback
Rating:



Gloriana St. Clair is a vampire who even Buffy could love. Glory, as her pals call her, is no blood-sucking fiend, but a woman who has been around since the days of "Billy" Shakespeare and still frets about her less than svelte figure. Her curves don't seem to bother the Scotsman who turned her into a vampire. Glory was so in love with Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, she wanted to be with him forever. They have had an on and off again relationship for centuries and these days he goes by the name Jeremy Blade.


Glory has decided to leave Las Vegas and move to Austin, Texas to open a new store, Vintage Vamp's Emporium. There is a supportive vampire community in Austin and when you don't age you have to move on a fairly regular basis to keep from having extra troubles with mortals. All is not perfect in Glory's new surroundings. It seems there are vampire killers on the loose and Blade wants to "protect" Glory with a Cheeto loving talking dog named Valdez. Glory may be nervous about the threats of vampire killers, but she is wary of the passion Blade can ignite in her, too.


Glory is witty and smart. She is torn, as most modern women are, between wanting to be self-sufficient and having an alpha male to take care of her. Blade is the epitome of alpha male and it is easy to see how Glory swooned for him years ago.


The first person narrative works well for this funny paranormal tale. There is plenty of quirky humor. These vampires mainly drink Bloody Merry and even those who still satisfy their hunger with real blood do it in a humane manner, for the most part. The author develops the secondary characters as fully as the main ones. Valdez, the talking dog, adds both tenderness and laugh out loud fun.


The ending is left fairly open, since there is to be a second adventure with Glory and her posse in July 2007 with Real Vampires Live Large. If you love Betsy from MaryJanice Davidson's Undead series or Sookie from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampires, you're gonna love Real Vampires Have Curves.


Reviewed in February 2007 by Roberta.

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