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gh You Know You're Reading Too Many Romance Novels When.... gh gh You spend more time in front of the book rack at the supermarket than in all the food sections combined. gh Your husband takes you out for dinner and you pass on dessert so that you can get to the nearest Barnes and Noble before it closes. gh You're disappointed when the handsome guy you've just been introduced to shakes your hand instead of kissing it. gh A new book with the word "Love" in the title is released, and Amazon.com immediately sends a priority email to notify you, addressing you by your first name and asking about your family. gh All your current magazines have their corners ripped off for bookmarks. gh You move the furniture around in your living room to accommodate your "reading" nook. gh You willingly give up closet space to install more bookshelves. gh You persist in trying to enjoy a glass of wine in a candlelit bathtub, even though the water gets cold, the candle wax drips on the bath mat and there's nowhere safe to put the glass while you shave your legs. gh Your wall calendar is no longer puppies or lighthouses, but scenes of romantic rendezvous between knights and their ladies. gh You think about learning to ride a horse - sidesaddle. gh You continue to hope that an alpha male lurks underneath the Polo shirt of the guy you're playing golf with, even though he's just spent the first four holes telling you all about his collection of caterpillars. gh You can't understand why your dates don't like Hugh Grant movies. gh You wear a much-loved old bathrobe, and when you twist your hair into a towel after a shower, you believe you are the glowing essence of womanhood, fresh and beguiling, when actually you are just you in a grubby robe with coffee stains on it and a towel wrapped around your head that makes you look like Gandhi. gh You email your favorite authors regularly, you know the names of their children and their pets. You are actually one step away from stalking. gh You write irate letters to publishing companies when your favorite author fails to publish at least one book a year. gh You write irate letters to editors pointing out any and all errors in their books. gh If there is not too much light in the room and you squint sideways, your husband looks just like Antonio Banderas. gh You are quite particular about your lingerie being elegant, sexy and coordinated; of course the one time that a spontaneous romantic moment developed, it was laundry day and you were wearing your oldest pair of cotton panties with the elastic missing from one leg!! gh At work, you remain convinced that one day a client/your boss/your boss's handsome brother will stand in front of your desk and demand that you accompany him to a remote tropical island for a difficult and challenging assignment. You keep a sample bottle of sunscreen (SPF 30) in your desk drawer just to be on the safe side. gh A well-built guy in a crisply-pressed uniform sends your pulse rate up quite a few notches. This should not include any uniform featuring white paper hats or name tags suggesting you can "Supersize the Fries"... gh You worry the romance has gone out of your relationship when a night of passion results in only seven peaks of pleasure. (Please furnish the name and phone number of your partner to the address at the bottom of this page!) gh As you enjoy your night of passion, you wonder why it seems to be only you that gets a painfully cramped hamstring, never Cassidy, Tamsyn, Katerina, Madelaine, Lady Imogen, or any other romantic heroine. gh You start thinking about changing your name from Dorothy, Marge or Enid to Cassidy, Tamsyn, Katerina or Madelaine. gh You wish that just once, when your honey folds you in his arms, he would say something truly romantic, instead of whispering "Did you know we're almost out of toilet paper?" gh Your attempts to dress romantically result in your children avoiding you at the mall. gh You fan your silky waist-length hair sensuously over your pillow, only to find one part caught in the headboard, the other wrapped around your alarm clock. gh You are shocked to realize that in the last twenty-seven romances you read, nobody went to the bathroom. gh You remain optimistically convinced that you can grow a perfect red rose on the windowsill of your fifth floor apartment even though your experience with gardening has resulted in three dead Chia pets. But Most Of All: gh Deep in your heart you know that a belief in romance is what helps keep us all going and you are certain that no one can ever have too much!! Thanks for visiting the site that is built on that conviction! gh If you have any you would like to add email Celia. | |||
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