Love
& Laughter
May
2002
In
the course of our romance reading - and believe me, we've read LOTS -
we've accumulated some funny, corny and just plain strange lines
from our favorite authors and romance novels. After all, what's
love without the laughter?
Best
Argument for Women's Rights Movement
"You make me want to
take you, to make love to you so completely so that you'll never, ever
forget who owns you."
(Dangerous Magic, Stephanie James)
Funniest
Case of Coitus Interruptus
Ranger rolled off me, onto his back.
"If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."
(Hot Six, Janet Evanovich)
Best
Last Line in a Book
“Nice
dress,” he said. "Now take it off."
(High
Five,
Janet Evanovich)
Favorite
Sarcastic Put-Down by a Heroine
“Isn’t that a bit
like shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped, been captured,
killed, its hide made into shoes, and the barn burned down?”
(A Matter of Scandal, Suzanne
Enoch)
The
ONLY Way to Break a Contract
"...
the contract states there will be no refunds, except in the event you
die of boredom...."
(Mr. Predictable, Carol Finch)
Best reason to travel with a
multi-millionaire
“..he had been to Africa on a number of occasions, though he
usually viewed the vistas through a climate-controlled Land Rover driven
by someone named Omar, while he and someone of the feminine persuasion
sat in the back sipping martinis and listening to the sound track from
The Lion King.”
(Her Man Friday, by
Elizabeth Bevarly)
Best question you wish he
hadn’t asked
“’..Actually,’ he said softly, ‘what I’d like to hear
is an explanation as to why the memory of my hand up your skirt made you
arrive here so much early than you said you would.’
Gee, she would have
liked to hear an explanation for that, too.
One that didn’t make her nipples tingle, anyway.”
(Her Man Friday, by
Elizabeth Bevarly)
Best argument for elastic-waist
jeans
Her zipper on the brink of a blowout, Hannah leaned back, drowsy,
sated and jealous of David’s larger digestive capacity.
The Almighty was definitely male, and he’d always liked Adam
best.
(East of Peculiar, by Suzann Ledbetter)
Best reason for having reliable
kitchen appliances
“’You’ve known
the guy for less than a week, and you’ve got a Vulcan mind-meld think
going?’ She appealed to
the refrigerator, “Let us not confuse lust with trust.
Or, in keeping with family tradition, confuse horny with anything
besides hormones tooting reveille.’”
(East of Peculiar, by Suzann Ledbetter)
Best description of “almost the
morning after” face
“Pouches beneath her eyes from sleep deprivation, a scowl
indicative of sex deprivation, and dual, dark mascara smudges completed
the perimenopausal Goth look.”
(South of Sanity, by
Suzann Ledbetter)
Best description of the actual
function of jewelry
“The tip of a gold, chevron-shaped necklace pointed to her
cleavage – in the manner of highway department signage alerting
tourists to the Grand Tetons.”
(North of Clever, by Suzann Ledbetter)
Chocoholic
Philosophy 101
"She found one
perma-frozen brownie... and the microwave was broken. A deeper
woman might see this as symbolic of the breakdown of her life.
Fortunately, she wasn't deep. She'd just eat the damn brownie
frozen."
(Tell Me Lies,
Jennifer Crusie)
